Beard Business: Old Fashioneds and Meat

Whenever Broad is out with the ladies or has them over our place, I always try to plan an evening with guys.  Her gatherings, like the Housewife White Party for instance, are usually quite elaborate and involve a great deal of planning.  Thus, my goal is normally to plan the antithesis of her gatherings.  So here is my guide for the Man (no)Plan Without the Ladies.

Almost every one of these evenings starts out the same:

1. whiskey
2. meat
3. little to no plan

First, the Whiskey:

I will never claim to be an expert on making an Old Fashioned, but I do make a damned good one.  Of the utmost importance are the following: strength, balance, luxardo cherries.

Strength: Don’t add water, just add enough ice to keep your drink cold.  A friend recently took me to a whiskey tasting event where one of the guest bartenders said something to the effect of ‘a cocktail should evolve over time.’  So as the ice melts (I like using crushed ice personally) that bit of water mixes nicely with the sugar granules to alter the cocktail a bit as you drink it.  It also dilutes it, so again, don’t add any stupid water.

Balance: I use minimal sugar, probably a half teaspoon, if that.  I’m not a fan of using simple syrup, cause there’s just something about muddling/stirring the bitters with the sugar that makes it feel authentic.  And again, as the granules dissolve they alter the drink along with the melting ice.

Luxardo Cherries: Those little jars filled with dark red orbs in a thick, viscous syrup at your favorite liquor store that for some reason cost nearly $20? They are Luxardo Cherries* and they are delicious.  They’re actually Marasca sour cherries packed in pure Marasca cherry syrup.  They’re one of the most important components of a good Old Fashioned (and many other cocktails) and are worth the expensive price tag.  If you want a good drink, do it right and splurge.  If you can’t bring yourself to buy them, don’t you dare buy those shit maraschino cherries; they’re pure sugary garbage and will ruin your beverage.

*pro tip: don’t store these guys in the fridge!  If you do, the sugars in the syrup will crystalize and it’s nearly impossible to get them back to their syrupy goodness.  Instead, just store in a cupboard away from light.

The Meat:
One of my favorite ways to cook is via my outdoor grill.  I’d grill everything if I could.  It’s fast, easy, and there’s minimal clean up.  If I have a decent group coming over I like to prepare a relatively inexpensive cut of meat that we can all share.  I’m normally a big fan of tri tip roasts for this purpose, but they’re sometimes hard to find in the midwest so I decided to go with a London Broil.  These are normally the cheapest cuts of meat at my local butcher shop (K & K Portage).  They’re large, lean, and are perfect for feeding a large group.  One of the drawbacks though is that they are pretty easy to overcook, at which point they turn dry, tough, and mouth tiringly hard to swallow (literally). In order to keep that from happening, I recommend taking these steps:

Pound that Meat: Grow up, this is serious shit.  Use the spikey end, cover it with plastic wrap to minimize the mess, and pound away.  It’ll help breakdown the super strong and tough muscle fibers.

Marinade: This is one of the few cuts of meat that I ALWAYS marinade.  It’s just too lean to be good enough with salt and pepper, my normal go-to’s.  For this, I kind of winged it, but with reason:

Soy sauce (for sodium)
Ponzu (for flavor)
Sriracha (for spice)
Brown Sugar (for a bit of sweetness and caramelization)
Mustard (for a bit of acidity and some flavor)
Pepper (flavor and spice)
Vinegar (I used black vinegar, an Asian vinegar I had laying around, for acidity)

Those acidic ingredients are important and they help break down the tough muscle fibers (aided by that pounding) and allow the marinade to penetrate the meat further.

The Grill: Since London Broil is a rather thin cut, I like to grill them on high and flip only twice to get a nice char and grill marks.  After you flip the last time, check it with a meat thermometer.  Normally I don’t use them on a regular steak, but these are just too easy to overcook and I didn’t want to ruin it for company.  I cook mine to around 120F for rare, usually turns out perfect as it continues to warm off the grill.

The (No) Plan:

After many rounds of Old Fashioneds and meat, our usual destination is the closest walkable dive bar.  On our most recent outing, the destination was Yuzu in Lakewood.  This place has a really unique, quirky vibe.  It is an “Izakaya Inspired” bar, which basically means it’s modeled after a Japanese gastro pub or dive bar.  They normally have old monster or kung-fu movies on the TV’s, have a wide array of shot/beer combos, a decent selection of canned beers, and late nice Asian-inspired munchies including Ramen.  They actually had a vodka rep there too which meant we were greeted with a free cocktail upon arrival that we may or may have not really needed.

Main thing to keep in mind for these trips is cheapness and late night food.  This place has both in spades along with being super weird.  It’s perfect.

And there you have it!  If your guy friends are like mine, they’re pretty easy to please.  Some whiskey, meat and a close no frills bar should be all you need for an enjoyable and inexpensive night out.